Day 11

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you’re tacky and I hate you.

Special K Red Berries. 

A name which once brought me so much joy now fills me with a wave of resentment.

I know it sounds extreme to hold a grudge against a breakfast cereal, but I will blame Kellogg’s for stunting my growth until the day I die. Let me explain.

When I was about 12 or 13 years old, right at the peak of tween-hood, I saw commercials like this:

I had grown up eating cereal as every child does, and when my young, pliable mind saw commercials like Special K’s, which promised women that they would drop a jean size in just 2 weeks, I begged my mom to pick some up the next time she went grocery shopping. And what was most dangerous of all was that it tasted delicious. This weight-loss cereal tasted like any other sugary cereal I would eat, the only difference was, this one told me it would make me thinner. So, every day for about a year, I packed Special K in a lunchbox and ate it at school. And sometimes, when I got home, I ate Special K again for dinner. And it really didn’t even matter that it was supposedly low cal – I ate it because I loved the taste.

So, during the time of my peak developmental years, I was predominantly eating cereal. Today, I come in at a whopping height of 5’1″, and haven’t grown an inch since about age 11. Sure, a lot of this could do with my genes – my dad’s about 5’10” and my mom is about 5’4″, but the fact is I stopped growing pretty early on.

So why do I blame Special K? Because cereal is an absolute abomination. Cereal is the catalyst for the obesity epidemic in our nation. Now, it’s really hard for me to type these words because I love cereal. I love all types of cereal from Fruit Loops, to Honey Bunches of Oats, to Raisin Bran Crunch. I think cereal tastes good at literally any meal, even dessert. But the truth is, it’s not food, and there’s no such thing as a “healthy” cereal option. It’s nutritional value is NON-EXISTANT.

Cereal was the poster child of the Agricultural Revolution. Cereal grains could be produced in mass quantity and man were they cheap. Cereal was one of the first foods that was advertised as a quick meal option that literally a monkey could throw together and eat in a rush. However, as Food Babe tells us in her article, when you really get down to it, cereal is just cheap corn or grains coated in sugar and sprayed with vitamins to make it “healthy.” Take a look at her article:

http://foodbabe.com/2015/02/24/healthy-cereal/

Basically, when you’re eating cereal, you’re eating a bowl of sugar with a side of food dye and some GMO’s sprinkled on top. Mmmm who wants breakfast?? The cereal industry however is making bank selling their products which claim to be healthy because they are filled with minerals and fortified with proteins and whole grains. It’s bull caca. It is a food of sheer convenience, especially when they came out with cereal in bar form (granola bars were my second favorite food by the way). It’s the convenience and simplicity of cereal that attracts everyone, but what really makes people eat cereal and granola bars day in and day out is no question: sugar. Ahhh we’ve come full circle.

So, as your reward for going 10 days sugar-free, I thought I would do you a favor and ruin one of your favorite “foods.” I really can’t type that without parentheses. Trust me, I’m sad about it too.

Don’t hate me, hate General Mills! They’re the ones who made their food look so freaking good by putting a rabbit with serious fomo in their commercials. Silly rabbit. Here’s Day 11, Cheers!

DRINK 8 oz. of water when you wake up.

Do 20 pushups to get your blood flowing.

Breakfast:

  • 8 oz. water
  • Veggie omelette (mine had onions, zucchini, red pepper, and spinach)

DRINK 16 oz. of water before lunch.

Lunch:

  • Avocado and green apple spinach salad (I added some pecans and chicken to mine)

DRINK 8 oz. of water after lunch

Dinner:

  • 8 oz. water
  • Bison burger with grilled mushrooms and onions
  • Roasted red peppers and broccoli

DRINK at least 8 oz. of water before bed!

-Audrey

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