So I recently came across an article I saw posted on Facebook by PopSugar called, “I Went Paleo and Now I Hate Everything.”
Even though the article makes it sound like going paleo will rip all the joy from your life and you will never smile again, it was actually pretty hilarious.
Here’s how she describes the idea behind being paleo:
“As far as I can tell, Paleo is based off of the premise that humanoids were never sexier or healthier than when they were cavemen. Even though they had no birth control or penicillin or dental floss, and everyone was probably covered in lice, they were supercut and sexy, and that’s a lifestyle to which we should aspire.”
She proceeds to talk about her experience with paleo and her attempts to make Carrot Cake Cookies which she calls “Pucks of Suffering.” If you’re in the mood for a good laugh, give the article a read. While I do agree with her that, yes if you’ve ever had a real cookie or anything with sugar and butter, paleo baked goods are a huge disappointment. Because they don’t have sugar and butter.
However, she also says that going paleo has made her hate everything because she can’t eat anything fun. Sure, I’ve been at restaurants or out with friends and sighed silently in contempt as I watched them order their peanut butter cup milkshakes or their fettuccine alfredo. But when it comes to going paleo, it doesn’t mean you can eat anything fun, you just have to follow what I think are the 3 key rules to becoming a successful paleo.
Rule #1: You have to cook
This just comes with the definition of paleo – paleo’s don’t eat processed things, aka things that come out of a box, aka eating won’t be as simple as pouring cereal and pouring milk. Paleo’s dont pour. We peel, and crack, and dice, and chop, and sauté. And if you don’t like to cook, then yes, trying to be paleo will be quite awful for you.
Rule #2: You have to plan ahead.
When I go to work, I have to pack my own lunch the morning before because there aren’t any paleo lunch options – at least nothing substantial enough to make a meal. So I have to plan what I’m going to eat the night before and pack it all up in a lunch box and bring it with me. Yeah this takes some time, but it’s just the time I would be using to watch another episode of Mad Men so what’s the difference? And when we go out to eat, I usually look up the menu beforehand to make sure there are paleo options. And yes, you are going to be that guy at the dinner table saying, “Can I get that without cheese? And dressing on the side? Can I get more vegetables instead of rice? Do you know exactly what is in that sauce?” Yeah it’s annoying, I know, but don’t let the waitress’s eye roll scare you.
Rule #3: You have to be creative.
Yes, if you constantly eat the same scrambled eggs with avocado, spinach salad with chicken, and meat and veggies at night, you are going to get bored and start hating life, too. You have to take the time to look up some paleo recipes, start pairing different ingredients together, spice things up, actually use your brain to come up with some interesting meals. Now if you’re not very keen on flavor pairings or you don’t know what spices taste good on what veggies, that’s where paleo websites are your friend! Because there are people out there who are creative, you just have to find them! I found a nice little website called Stupid Easy Paleo which has a bunch of paleo recipes organized all nice and pretty in categories for you for when you don’t feel like thinking of something to cook on your own. I know I feel like I sometimes forget that there are other meats besides chicken – this site’s got plenty of ideas to help with that!
Here’s Day 21, featuring dinner alla Stupid Easy Paleo. Cheers!
DRINK 8 oz. of water when you wake up.
- 8 oz. water
- 2 eggs
- a green apple
DRINK 16 oz. of water before lunch.
- Strawberry Chicken Salad from Panera (romaine lettuce with strawberries, blueberries, oranges, pineapple, chicken, + pecans)
Panera is actually a pretty good place for paleos since you can substitute ingredients upon ordering. I just asked for my salad without cheese or dressing, it was very easy. You can also get a cute lil apple as a side option which I think is pretty great.
DRINK 8 oz. of water after lunch.
- 8 oz water
For dinner, I thought I’d treat you to a little Stupid Easy Paleo recipe sampling, so I put together a burger and fries night:
- Sweet Plantain Hamburger Buns
- a seasoned beef burger (I would definitely top mine with avocado, and maybe onions or tomato) or take a look at their Perfect Burger
- Sweet Potato Fries
- Paleo Ranch Dressing (I don’t know about y’all but I like ranch on my fries)
DRINK at least 8 oz. of water before bed!